FU-zzy Squash Fan Letters

12 Aug
Hi Veggie-files –
All summer my adoring fans have been bombarding me with squash questions – probably cause they have so many zucchini plants and full grown squashes in their yard. I have been soooo busy writing them back that I haven’t posted, oops!
Anyway, I’d like to share with you my fav squash fan letters:

I am trying to decide my veggie sexuality and would like to know do squashes have genders?
-Confused in Canada

Dear Confused,
Actually squash plants produce both male and female flowers. I like to call them Squash-maphrodites. Good luck with the pre-op transgendered thing – keep eating your veggies it will help.
-Hugs, VeGina

Love the blog. Write more often, ok? I was wondering  do squash flowers have sex, make love, bang, do the horizontal mambo, hide the sweet Italian sausage, play a little game of in and out? Man I am sweating now… need my hands, gotta go.
-Veggie Sex in Seattle

Yo VS,
Splash some cold water dude. Squash flowers do not have “traditional” sex they only have threesomes with bees (please do not try this at home it could be dangerous!) For fruit to grow, pollen must be transferred from the male to the female bloom. Pollinating insects, mostly bees, carry out this important job resulting in fresh squash for the kitchen.
Buzz, Buzz – let’s get it on squash flower style,

Dearest Veggie Queen, 
I love your thoughts on all things vegetable and sexy, therefore I need to write for some quite serious advice.  I have a vegetable growing on my back fence which produces a pale green fruit three feet long and 3 to 6 inches in diameter.  What should I do with it?
– Thanks,  Desperate for a dildo in DenverWoah Desperate in Denver (Can I call you DD),

DD thanks for the Queen title. Anyway, sounds like I NEED to tell you what NOT to do with it. Do NOT by any means stick it in any holes, especially ones that banana flowers belong in.

So, this also means do NOT eat it or otherwise put it in your mouth. Squash will cross-pollinate with other types of squash, for example yellow squash with green squash. This cross-pollination will not result in off- flavored or off-colored fruit from this year’s garden but if seed are saved for planting next year the result will be a combination. If yellow squash crosses with a zucchini squash and you plant the seed, the new plant will have the characteristics of both. In other words, incest squash.
-Try Match.com or Jdate.com, Veggie Gina

Trust Me It Is Furry!

Hi VegGina
Love the recipes, I too am always hunting for a new veggie to try. Hanging out at the Asian grocer last week I picked up a long, hard, hairy squash. Any ideas what I should do with it besides pet it and call it
Jai Wang?
-Love, Long Hard Asian Squash in Long Branch

Thanks NJ Squash Lover,
My first bit of advice is to let go of the hairy Asian Wang and make a yummy recipe like FU-zzy Squash Stew (see recipe below).This recipe works really well with “fuzzy squash” no joke that is its name, it is similar to zucchini, so feel free to substitute it if you have a little extra laying around.
-Veg-ing Out, G

FU-zzy Squash Stew 

You Need: 
-1 medium fuzzy squash (from your Asian Grocer) or a nice sized zucchini
-1 large vidala onion
-1 large green pepper
-1/2 cup tomato gravy
– Olive oil
-1 tsp Basil
– 1 tsp diced garlic
– S&P to taste
-1 can of diced tomatoes with basil and onion
What To Do: 
-Dice all fresh veggies
-Heat large frying pan, add olive oil and diced veggies
-Add gravy & seasonings
-Cook until veggies are becoming tender
-Add can of tomatoes
-Cook until all veggies are tender and tomatoes are heated through
-Top with parmesan or mozarella cheese
Look at your work say YUM and enjoy!
Until next veggie,
PS: A final note: Thanks for the inspiration Aggie and Leah Dieterich author of thxthxthx: Thank Goodness for Everything

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